the price of being right

I didnt write this, it was sent to me by a great friend

This is a post that I copied from one of the many groups that I'm on. I like it mostly because it's not saying that Master is always right even when he's not, and it's not saying that you should humor your dominant and stroke their ego when they're doing something stupid.

It just says that you should make an effort to be *respectful* about it, and that is really what makes all the difference.

What Price being Right?

This one is almost all for the other submissives out there. Doms read on, but mostly to get a clue to what is going on in the subbie mind.
Okay folks... these are the rules, right?... Number one, Master is always right. And rule two, if Master should ever be wrong refer to rule one. Sounds nice, right? I wish it were that easy.

Most of the submissives I know are very strong independent woman, with lots of knowledge and know how. They are very good at taking care of themselves, so in good in fact that they have the time and energy to take care of others, namely their Doms. They all have this desire and need to submit, and yet fall into the same trap I have fallen into a million times.

Because they are so smart and independent in their own right, when they are right they know it. In the "normal" world they are used to saying, hey that isn't right and telling someone how it is.Does that sound like a sub? No, it sure doesn't. And there is the problem. I have seen it at home and everywhere. Master and sub talking, Master says something that sub knows is wrong, can be the smallest fact or the largest one. It doesn't even matter. But then here comes the mistake, the sub will correct the Master, sometimes even being silly enough to do this in front of others.
Now I know that doesn't sound so bad, and it won't be, if the Master thinks he might in fact be wrong, but God help you if he doesn't.
What happens next... the argument starts... and it doesn't get any better for some time to come. For the Master it was a challenge to his power, a show of a lack of trust, it was taking back of power. And you know what... they don't like that. It makes them ticked off and it is humiliating should the sub do this in front of others.

For the sub there is the frustration of knowing they are right but feeling like they are being blown off because they are the sub. This always seems to be followed by the line "but I know I was right".
Neither person is happy and it hurts the relationship.

Here is my advice... shut up!! Okay so you are right, if he does this it will turn out badly, the house you are looking for is on this street. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you right.
If you got asked your opinion by all means give it. A Master isn't worth a damn if he doesn't ask his subs opinion about things.
But if you are just correcting him, DON'T!!! If when you tell the Dom, you know I think it was so and so in that movie, and his reply is no, it wasn't, just let it go. Shut up! Yep it was that person in that movie. Yes the laws do say that.

He will find out sooner or later that you were right but if you don't fight about it, then he never has to take the "I told you so" from you. He can keep his ego and pride intact.

After all we have asked this person to be our leader, to take care of us. Now is the time to take care of them. Let them have their opinions on things, and no matter how wrong they might be, let it go, and let them find it out for themselves.
Then you don't have to be the bad guy and you don't have to pay for making that person feel foolish or humiliated.
So you might think I am asking you to be a doormat. Well not really, I am asking you to decide if you want to be right or if you want to be happy, cause when you get in an argument about stuff with your Master chances are you can't be both.
At least I don't know anyone who can. I made this suggestion to a couple of friends along the way... and they tried it out.

It was hard, hell it was hard for me when I first started doing it. But in the end it worked. Letting that Dom take the roads they chose left them feeling their own power, and it let the submissive support them.
If it didn't work then the Dom didn't feel the need to be angry with the sub just waiting for the I told you so, or seeing it in her eyes.

So subbies, let it go. If you are right that is nice... but it won't get you cuddled most of the time, so just know what you know and shut the hell up.
These are grown up people you are dealing with. They have a right to their opinion and their mistakes. No matter how much we love them we don't have the right to take those choices away from them.

You asked them to have all this power in your life, now let them have it. The more power they feel, the better the Master they can be.

One little note for the Dom's out there that might be reading this... okay so your ego got a bruise because your sub said you were wrong and worse yet she said this in public. Well it is your choice how to behave too. You can tell her how to handle it differently, you can take charge enough to tell her why you didn't like it. These would be better options than just being hurt and angry about what that sub did. Consider that this person does have a mind and an opinion, and being a sub doesn't mean that went away.
And yep there is even a chance that your sub is right and you are wrong. If you are smart you will take this with good humor.

And thank her for those times when she knew you were wrong but didn't embarrass you by telling you in a room full of people, but waited respectfully to tell you later when you were alone. Or for those times when the sub shut up and let you make the errors, and then had the respect for your feelings to not say, I told you so.

-anonymous submissive-

Is enough ENOUGH

Well is sure have alot to learn. first of all I will tell you that one of the hardest rules for me and maybe all subs is the fact that we have no control over our punishments. I have this horrible habit of punishing myself to the point of numbness. I will eat until I am sick if I feel I deserve such a thing, I will go with out my meds to feel pain I feel I should ect.

Kirk has been sick for a week and so have I, but in that time I was owed quite the spanking. I hadnt completed my chores all week and I totally lost it with chocolate on Friday, I mean I ate sooooo much I was sick.

I ate it because I knew I was wrong and that I needed the spanking to help me make up for hurting myself and the happiness of my home and Kirk didnt/couldnt spank me for it..... it was building up and i couldnt wait. so I went alittle nuts.

so I had all of this spanking coming and finally I had pushed it to far when he found out about the choc.

I was expecting something terrible ( which Kirk hates when I try and predict what will happen) and because we couldnt get rid of the kids we had to "go for a ride"
we have a little dark lot that we can feel kinda safe going to and I lay the seat of the car back all the way and bare my but for the hairbrush and his hand. its not the best situation but it is all we can really do with kids in the house.

soooo I got the hairbursh, not too bad, and although I felt spanked it wasnt nearly enough to rid myself of the guilt. he had planed on making me get out of the car and stand against it for the belt but someone drove by. he didnt feel "I was done" yet so when we got home we took a chance at being heard and Kirk spanked me with his belt in the garage. I got 10 medium swats and he felt better.
the problem was I did not. I felt like I deserved soooo much more and I was very sad,but then he told me I am not allowed to decide how much is enough, it is he who punishes me and he alone decides how much.

this is really hard for me and most likely a large part of submission. I gave the control over to him and I have to abide by his choice. and if he says let it go, you are forgiven I must do that. Mostly because I trust him and I love him.

so far I dont know how I am going to resolve to that but I will try hard.

my rules as of now

1. Keep the house uncluttered
   


2. Have chores done by the time Kirk gets home.
   


3. Go to bed together
   


4. Stay in bed once there unless pain makes it to hard. No chatting online at night


5. 8 hours of sleep per day


6. No chocolate, unless approved


7. Drink water- 2 bottles


8. Take medications every day


9. exercise every other day m-w-f


10. make list for next day by bed time


11. Do only what’s on the list -I have to learn to prioritize my list and stick to it. So I don’t over work and not be able to do anything the next day


12. Hold kids to their responsibilities


13. Track on sparks ( this is nutrition and diet website, its great really and has helped me with meal planning and fitness. and its free! http://www.sparkpeople.com/ )


14. No lying ( 100 swats bare assed in our house)


15. Wear seatbelt at all times

I need to keep up

sorry to al those who have come to see my blog only to find it not updated. I will do better!

I am still trying to learn my lessons and i am still getting spanked. i will update more tommorow. this is the insolence of me------------------------------------------->

this man is my teacher, my spanker, my lover and my best friend

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