the birth of a sub

this pic was how I met Kirk, he sent it to me and i couldn't resist sending him a thank you , i loved the idea of waking up and doing this. this is how my life started!

I have been around for a long time. i used to live my life more like a Dom than anything, i went to a all women's college and learned of the feminist ways and the tide of Independence for women. I believe it is wrong to strike or abuse a woman. I feel it is wrong to abusively control and restrict what a woman does. we have all seen the talk shows where men control there wives and girlfriends and beat them into submission. I believe these men to be cowards not worthy of a woman's love.

what i also have learned is that spanking and DD or HOH lifestyle is not that of the talk shows and all of the leadership done in our lifestyle is done with love and meant to guide and build on the person we are.

what i now know is that some ppl are born dominate and some are born submissive. you cant fight your true self.

i am still a very independent woman and god forbid anything would ever happen to Kirk :(

I would be able to survive with out him telling me each and every step.

i never thought of myself as a sub, i am 39 and just realized that it is my true path. i have always wanted to be cared for but i thought it was wrong, i thought i had to be a career woman with the Independence and power of a man. i married a man who was a sub also and i resented having to be the dom in the relationship ( we didn't know the roles at the time and we very vanilla) i stay with him for 16 horrible years and finally went out on my own. i was a single mom for 3 years and we did fine with me as HOH. i have 2 teenage sons and i worried what that would be like for them without a strong responsible man to be in the lead.

last July i met a wonderful man on myspace, we began a relationship of a spanking nature, he lives 400 miles away but it became very obvious we were made for each other. i gave up my life in WI and moved here with him, i am now happier than i have ever been. we have a HOH relationship now and i am loving it. it is my natural place in our home.

i am the caretaker for the family and he is the boss. i am guided not to hurt myself with self destructive ways and i am able to love and pamper my man. he actually is surprised by what i want to do for him. I am sad when he is sad, i am mad at myself when he isn't pleased about something.

i have learned that it takes a very strong woman to serve a family and a man. to be the one who fights for the Harmony of the home. I find there is great joy in seeing my family relax when they come home, having time to play and joke instead of clean and fuss.

because i have MS, i thought my contributions to the family and the house would never equal what my HOH does for us in working hard to bring in the money. I have very little money coming in and sometimes i feel like i am not doing my share. he is very supportive and trying to make me feel like i am doing alot for us. so even though i am not a neat person i am trying to be for my family.

i am proud to be a sub ( though i couldn't ever be a slave) i love my spankings and the freedom to be myself.i would never go back to any other way of life!

sweet valentines day

well, here i am spanked again, wish i had a better figure but this is it for now. lol- dont know if your suposed to post this kind of pic but myspace wont let me so here it is.

this pic is from a fun weekend getaway for Valentines day. we had tons of fun and my bottom is the proof. yes chocolate body paint.

I ended up with a new toy for our collection out of the trip. we stold a wooden rod from the hanger in the closet. man that thing is wicked. I hope it is only used for really bad punishments i was skillfully striped that day. but the pic is mostly from the hairbrush. something i usually dont get much of.

the real hard part was going into the hot tub with that red ass! wooooo hoooo

the top is a razor strop Kirk found at an antique mall. it is well used and worn... even more so now

and the bottom is a pic of the daddies belt that is only used when i am very bad. it is a replica of the one my father used on me and is a very effective trigger implement

The night before last i crossed a line in our relationship that i shouldnt have crossed. i get to spank kirk sometimes and right now he is getting a nightly spanking for every cig he smokes. ( he had quit months ago and slipped back into it a few weeks ago. he finally confessed and we worked out that he would quit again march 1st. so he gets to smoke for awhile but as a detrant he recives one stroke of the cane for every one.) but we had gone for a drive and he pulled off into a dard deserted lot and i got a nice spanking with a hairbrush. i had to lay my seat back all the way, turn around and pull down my pants. i got maybe 50 smacks. i felt warm and loved.

then i got playful and wanted him to take a turn. i told him that the swats could be for the smoking. but i changed my mind, feeling playful i began swatting faster. he yelled " hey thats more than 8! and i said yea i know. well he turned over fast and was very quiet. he was disapointed in me.

he told me that he trusted me and i had betrayed his trust. that i have to do what i say i am going to.

i felt terriable, i cried and told him i was sorry, that i just hadnt thought it through. he was wonderful and warm and forgave me with the promice that i would never do it again.

it could have been the end of that whole situation but i felt soooo guilty that the next day we had some alone time to play or punish. heres what happened.

i dropped my sons off at basketball pratice so that gave up about 2 hours to ourselves. i walked in the door and didnt see him right away. sometimes that means he is still preparing for me. so i just hung around for a bit until he came into the room.

i hugged him and told him how very very sorry iwas and that i would never lie to him again.

he held me and told me it was all ok and all was forgiven yesterday. but he looked into my eyes and said " you havent forgiven yourself have you?"

" no, I just cant seem to" I said

he took my hand and lead me up the stairs to our room. he hugged and kissed me again and told me to lay on the bed. he then put a pillow under my hips and left me there for a few minutes while he retieved an implament.

our rule is 100 swats on the bare, with a belt for any lie, so i knew i was in trouble.

sure enough he walked out with "daddies belt" and the razor strop.

i started to sob and held onto the bed for dear life.

" what are you being spanked for naughty girl?" he asked

" because i lied to you and tricked you and your trust means alot to me. I want you to trust me." i said

" ok count off" he said sternly and i did.

the pain was intence as he never goes easy with a punishment spanking it was hard right from the start.

when we got to 50 he stopped and i caught my breath alittle. he then switched to the razor strop, man that old time thing is wicked.

after 50 more of the strap, all basicly in the same 4 inch space, right on my sit spot i was allowed to get up. i was held in his loveing arms until i stopped crying and as he wispered "shhhh its all over now, its ok" i felt the most peaceful warmth pass over me.

i read somewhere that it is amzing what our bruises show that our heart feels.

nice pic

I love this pic. it shows how a wonderful DD relationship can feel. i feel like this after a spanking by Kirk. i feel like he has me supported in his hands and i am safe.