the top is a razor strop Kirk found at an antique mall. it is well used and worn... even more so now

and the bottom is a pic of the daddies belt that is only used when i am very bad. it is a replica of the one my father used on me and is a very effective trigger implement

The night before last i crossed a line in our relationship that i shouldnt have crossed. i get to spank kirk sometimes and right now he is getting a nightly spanking for every cig he smokes. ( he had quit months ago and slipped back into it a few weeks ago. he finally confessed and we worked out that he would quit again march 1st. so he gets to smoke for awhile but as a detrant he recives one stroke of the cane for every one.) but we had gone for a drive and he pulled off into a dard deserted lot and i got a nice spanking with a hairbrush. i had to lay my seat back all the way, turn around and pull down my pants. i got maybe 50 smacks. i felt warm and loved.

then i got playful and wanted him to take a turn. i told him that the swats could be for the smoking. but i changed my mind, feeling playful i began swatting faster. he yelled " hey thats more than 8! and i said yea i know. well he turned over fast and was very quiet. he was disapointed in me.

he told me that he trusted me and i had betrayed his trust. that i have to do what i say i am going to.

i felt terriable, i cried and told him i was sorry, that i just hadnt thought it through. he was wonderful and warm and forgave me with the promice that i would never do it again.

it could have been the end of that whole situation but i felt soooo guilty that the next day we had some alone time to play or punish. heres what happened.

i dropped my sons off at basketball pratice so that gave up about 2 hours to ourselves. i walked in the door and didnt see him right away. sometimes that means he is still preparing for me. so i just hung around for a bit until he came into the room.

i hugged him and told him how very very sorry iwas and that i would never lie to him again.

he held me and told me it was all ok and all was forgiven yesterday. but he looked into my eyes and said " you havent forgiven yourself have you?"

" no, I just cant seem to" I said

he took my hand and lead me up the stairs to our room. he hugged and kissed me again and told me to lay on the bed. he then put a pillow under my hips and left me there for a few minutes while he retieved an implament.

our rule is 100 swats on the bare, with a belt for any lie, so i knew i was in trouble.

sure enough he walked out with "daddies belt" and the razor strop.

i started to sob and held onto the bed for dear life.

" what are you being spanked for naughty girl?" he asked

" because i lied to you and tricked you and your trust means alot to me. I want you to trust me." i said

" ok count off" he said sternly and i did.

the pain was intence as he never goes easy with a punishment spanking it was hard right from the start.

when we got to 50 he stopped and i caught my breath alittle. he then switched to the razor strop, man that old time thing is wicked.

after 50 more of the strap, all basicly in the same 4 inch space, right on my sit spot i was allowed to get up. i was held in his loveing arms until i stopped crying and as he wispered "shhhh its all over now, its ok" i felt the most peaceful warmth pass over me.

i read somewhere that it is amzing what our bruises show that our heart feels.