subs guide

• Sub's Rights
  


• I have the right to set Limits, and expect them to be respected.


• I have the right to expect you to believe I am an Intelligent, Caring, and Loyal Person.


• I have the right to be Trusted, provided I have Earned it.


• I have the right to expect you to administer Your Punishment on me with Care and Caution.


• I have the right to ask for Your Attention, without having to misbehave to get it.


• I have the right to Question Your motives, should you deny my Requests, as long as I question with Proper Respect.


• I have the right to expect Tenderness, Love and Understanding at all times including the moments I am being punished.


• That Punishment does not mean Abuse.


• I have the right to ask you for that Tenderness if I’ve had a bad day, or I just feel the Need for closeness.


• I understand that there will be times when you and I will disagree about things.


• I have the right to expect you to understand my Reasons, when I Respectfully express to you what I need.


• I have the right to expect you to listen with an Open Mind and Heart.


• I have the right to Voice my opinion, and expect you to Honestly Listen to and consider my Reasoning.


• I expect you to have Final word, but I expect you to Whole-heartedly Consider my Feelings when making your decision.


• I have the right to expect you to understand that deep Trust often breeds Love. For it is your pleasure that adds to my own and my pleasure that adds to yours.


• I have the right to: Respect. No Husband may demean, abuse, harangue or hassle me in any way.


• I am submissive, but should be treated with dignity and respect at all times. Choose. No Husband may demand my service. It is a most precious gift and mine to bestow. Safety. No Husband should ever compromise my safety.


• I have the right to protect myself and to take whatever measures are necessary to do so. Put my Real Life First. No Husband may demand that I put aside my family, job, or other real life concerns for Him.


• Know what is Expected of me. No Husband should expect me to be a mind reader.
  
  Sub's Creed
  I will communicate with complete Honesty of my Needs, Desires, Limits, and Experiences to my Husband.


• I realize that Failing to do so will not only prevent my Husband and I from having the best experience possible, but it could also lead to physical and emotional harm.


• I will not try to manipulate my Husband.


• I will not push to make situations go the way I feel it should.


• I will keep an Open Mind about trying things that I am not accustomed to.


• I am willing to try and expand my limits. I will accept the Responsibility of Discovering what pleases my Husband, and will do my Best to fulfill His Wishes and Desires.


• I will not allow myself to be Harmed or Abused, for I know that "submissive" Does Not Equal "doormat".


• I will be Courteous and Helpful to all other submissives. I will never think myself a "better" submissive because I choose to submit on a different level than another.


• I will not be boastful of experiences I have had as a submissive.


• I will Share my Knowledge and Experiences with others in the hope that they will learn from where I have been.


• I will take the time to help those new to the scene so they may begin on the correct path of submissiveness.


• I will be Responsive to my Husband.


• I will not try to hide what my Mind and Body are feeling from my Husband. By telling Him I assist Him in His responsibilities as my Authority.


• I know that my Husband is not a telepath and I will not expect Him to know the thoughts or feelings in which I have not shared.


• I know that my actions Reflect upon my Husband, and I will do my best to help others to see Him in a positive way.


• I will Not intentionally Embarrass or Displease my Husband.


• I will Never causes other to think that being submissive means to be weak or sub-human.


• I will take pride in who and What I am, and will never show myself in a negative way.


• I will continue to grow as a submissive and as a human being.


• Above all, I will wear my title of submissiveness with Honor.
  
  
  This affirmation should be recited quietly, but aloud either going to bed each night or the first thing each morning. Quiet time should be set aside to allow the words to sink in. Read them slowly and thoughtfully each time.
  


• Allow me the Inner Strength to express my true feelings and the trust to know He will understand and accept them as truth.


• Allow me the Wisdom to know His needs and the Serenity to serve Him, graciously.


• Allow me the Love to show Him whole-heartedly and the Tenderness to comfort Him selflessly.


• Allow me the Knowledge to know when not to speak what's on my mind and the Kindness to not say what's on the tip of my tongue.


• Allow me the Wisdom to be an asset to Him and the Peace of Mind in serving Him.


• Allow me the Understanding when His day has been bad, and the Patience when mine has been.


• Let my Eyes show Him the same Respect, whether I sit at His side, or kneel at His feet. Let my Daily Service to Him show Him how I Honestly feel about Him.


• Let me Learn to please Him, completely and fully.


• Grant me the Ability to give myself to Him, willingly and with my whole self.


• Grant me the Talent, to Please U/us both fully and the Light to show U/us the way.


• Permit me to Love myself more for Loving Him. For it is my Greatest Wish, my Highest Honor, to make His life complete, as He make mine.

again not sure who wrote this but i thank them with all my heart.

doms guides

Doms Creed

• Above all else I cherish my wife, in the knowledge that the gift my wife gives me is the greatest gift of all.
  
• I may be demanding and take full advantage of the power given to me, but know how to share the pleasure that comes from that precious gift.
  
• I am in control of myself first and foremost, so that I may control my wife.
  
• As a stern and demanding, I can cause my wife to cry real tears.
  
• As the consummate lover, I will then kiss the tears away, without stepping out of character.
  
• In times of trouble, I will leave the roles behind, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring individuals.
  
• I am quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality.
  
• I would never ask my wife to put me before their career, or family, just to satisfy my own pleasure.
  
• To win my wife’s mind, body, spirit, soul, and love, I know I must first win her trust.
  
• I will show my humor, kindness, and warmth.
  
• I must always show my wife that my guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of her attention, that this is a person she can learn from, and that she can trust My direction.
  
• I am romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous. When called upon, I will fight for my wife’s honor.
  
• I prove to my wife that I am someone she can lean on, and depend on.
  
• When it comes time to teach my wife her lessons of obedience, I am a strong and unyielding professor.
  
• I will accept no flaw. Nothing less than perfection from my wife, the student.
  
• Never will I use discipline without a good reason. When I do punish my wife, it is always with a knowledgeable and careful hand.
  
• I am always open to communication and discussion; always ready to hear my wife’s wants and needs.
  
• I am patient; taking time to learn my wife’s limits, and knowing that as her trust of me grows, so will she.
  
• I know my wife responds to me out of the want of pleasing Me.
• Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment.
  
• I understand the fragile nature of mind and body and never violate the trust given to Me.
  
• I am secure enough to laugh at myself and the absurdities of life.
• Open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow.
  
• My tools are mind, body, spirit, soul, and love.
  
• I understand that we gain most from pleasuring each other.
  
• And both of us know that love and trust are the only bindings that truly hold.

Doms responsibilities:
1. Trust: Your wife’s submission is a gift. It is your responsibility not to violate or abuse her trust in you. Whenever there are decisions you must make, you need to keep Both You and Your wife in mind, not just yourself.

2. Help: It is your responsibility to help your wife find what is already inside of her, and not try to create it for her. Before turning your attention toward your wife, you need to be the best Man You can possibly be. Bare in mind, this does not mean perfection, but it does not mean whimsical either.

3. Leadership: Your responsibility is not to take your leadership lightly and not to bail out of things get heavy. It is your responsibility to recognize that everyone is different, and your wife may not respond like your co-workers, friends, etc. You need to employ creativity rather than formula.

4. Communication: You know the key to bringing out the best in Your relationship lie in accumulating knowledge, communicating openly, and approaching the situation and Your spouse without hatred or animosity. It is your responsibility to guard your wife’s mental health-- to not guess or try to read “between the lines”, but to communicate openly with her.

5. Safety: It is your responsibility to make sure your wife is safe. You must be responsible for finding out what your wife’s true limits are, and staying within the boundaries those limit describe. You have a responsibility to discuss any punishments after its conclusion and to be open to any criticism that may come from your wife regarding the way things were handled.

6. Rules: It is your responsibility to involve your wife in the planning of her rules and their punishments, and to find out as much as possible about her desires and fantasies. To not be arrogant, but to actively seek help from your wife in discovering those areas in which you can improve. To not be misleading about yourself or your abilities.

7. Punishment: It is your responsibility to be stern. She may not like the punishment, but she will always respect you for it. You will continue your support and affection, especially while you are punishing her. You must never withhold your support and affection from her as a means of punishment. When you punish your wife, you must do so for the good of your wife, not just for the fulfillment of your own desires.

I am not sure who the auther is to these creeds but i am very thankful to have read them.

looking thru the window

My little dream

Well today is the day for my spanking.
I am sitting at my computer at 1:30pm. I keep watching the time because I know that at 2:00 daddy is coming over and he isn’t very happy with me.
The phone rings, I dread picking it up but I know I must and I hear his voice. “Little girl, I want you ready when I get there”
I am surprised and ask ‘what do you mean by ready?”
Daddy says “I want you lying on your bed, face down and 3 pillows under your hips; I want that bottom in the air.”
I don’t know what to say except “do I have to take my pants off?” there is a pause and I hear “I don’t suggest it, I am really angry and you will need protection. Now GO!”
I hang up the phone and I am shaking, I don’t know what I did to upset him and I don’t know what will happen. I decide to hurry and get into the position I was told to. It feels strange laying here like this; my mind starts to wander to my last spanking from Daddy. Suddenly I hear a jingling noise, I turn my head to see Daddy standing right next to me, and I didn’t hear him come in. I see what is making the noise and Daddy has been removing his belt. I get very scared and start to ask questions. I ask why he is taking it off, and is he going to use it on me, I ask if there is going to be a warm up first, why he is upset with me. Panic is setting in as he isn’t answering me. Daddy putts both ends of the belt together and makes a snap with it. I jump. I think about getting up and running out the door, but I don’t.
“Well baby girl. Looks like we have a problem here. Do you know why you are in your bed right now?” “No Daddy” I say. “My baby girl seems to have problems getting to bed and getting up in the morning like she is told to, isn’t that right?” I am too afraid to answer and I can hear a whoosh through the air before I feel the crack of the belt on my jeans. “You will answer me” another crack. “yes, yes I haven’t been going to bed” “very good, now I am going to give you 10 swats right now for making that the most broken rule, then we will proceed with the normal punishment.” I can’t believe that this isn’t part of the normal spanking that he is so mad that I broke one rule so much. “I am happy to see your bottom in the air waiting for my attention. Now I am going to spank you, after each one I want you to tell me what time is your curfew, understand?” “Yes, sir” Crack- 1 am, crack- 1 am…….. crack- owwww 1 am. “Now get up young lady.



Daddy stops and returns his belt to where it came from and slowly, alittle out of breath he says “my little girl you have till I get to 3 to have your face in the corner. 1….2….”
I jump up and do as I am told; there are no corners free of clutter (oops) so I stand in front of the closet door as I have done before. I am pretty clam and start to feel the burn building on my bottom. I am still angrily and stubborn.
When he comes back into the room he takes my arm and leads me over to a mirror, he undoes my button and pulls down my pants “ turn around and take a look” he turns me and I can see the welts and red marks forming, under my panties, I get a sinking feeling.
“Thank you for putting my chair here in the bed room. Come here and stand next to me. Now I am going to pull down your pants” “nooo” “fine you will right now” I don’t want to but I do as I am told and shimmy out of the jeans, I can feel the heat on my butt as they come down. “Now over my knee” I stand there unable to move I start to back away and feel like running, Daddy jumps up and grabs my wrist and pulls me down over his lap, I start to struggle and beg and plead. I feel the blows landing one after the other and I can feel the sting and heat building. After about 10 swats Daddy slows it all down, he tells me it is for my own good and if I dint fight him a few minutes ago the warm up would feel like this. The spanks are not very hard right now, just even from one cheek to the other, back and forth. I fall in to the rhythm of it all, I begin to relax and think of my misbehaviors. Daddy rubs my bottom which is sore already and tells me to get up, he stands behind me and guides me over to the closet door when he pats my bottom and tells me to stand there. I do as he tells me and catch my breath.
“So do you think that is good enough for this session?” “Yes daddy it is” as I reach down for my pants.
Daddy just grins at me “not even close little girl, out to the couch with you” I pull my jeans back up so I can walk; the pain of covering my bottom is intense. As I walk in front of him he reaches out and swats my butt as I walk. On the table in front of the couch I see the paddles. I cringe.
I sit down on the edge of the couch, a little too quickly for having such a tender bottom, but I don’t want to stand there, I have a sense that if I am sitting here he won’t be able to spank me somehow. Daddy walks over and sits on the couch. My insides are overwhelming me with anxiety. I know deep down that the punishment is not over and that I have done more wrong than not going to bed on time. I wonder why he is so calm at the moment and not saying anything.
He looks up at me and tells me “I have spanked you before and I am not sure what it is going to take to get through to you, you are a very stubborn little girl aren’t you?”
my heart sinks at the thought of disappointing and I lower my head, I whisper “ I’m sorry” at this moment I wish I could just jump across his lap and take his worst only to have the sadness and guilt stop.
I get my wish in just a minute when I hear Daddy sigh deeply. “Stand up right now” I obey what he tells me and now I am standing in front of him. “We aren’t going to have the same disobedience we did last time I told you to pull down your pants. If we do I will get the cane”
“ noooooooo no no not that!” I begin to slowly and carefully pull down my jeans. As I am doing this Daddy pulls out the same piece of paper from before. “Damn” I say before I think and Daddy reaches up and spanks my butt really hard “good girls don’t swear. Don’t do it again.”
“Now you will come here and you will go over my knee again. No arguing no comments just do it” there is a nasty small leather paddle that he keeps slapping against his hand.
I plan to lay all the way across but Daddy pulls me down to fast and I am only over one knee and up on the couch with my body. He folds one leg over mine and I get really freaked out. Is this going to be that bad that he has to pin my legs, I never move much before, what is going to happen? I can’t control myself and I begin to fight it, I squirm and beg to be let go.
Then without warning or words the first 5 blows land on my panty covered cheeks in a flurry of swats. “ owwwwwwwwwww” I howl. “ you will…. spank spank…stay still…spank spank spank spank spank. Do you understand… spank spank…. young lady spank spank spank.
“Oh my god this hurts daddy stoooop.” I plead
“Good I think my little angel is getting the hint” says daddy.
Daddy stops and rubs my sore bottom for me, it feels so much better but I am out of breath and feel like the swats are still falling.
“Now that we have that understood would you like to read this part of the note to me? He puts it in front of my face and I see what he has been looking at that made him so mad, it was a note that my friend Erica sent him telling him that I had gone 10 days without drinking all 8 glasses of water a day and I had been on the computer past 1 am another 10 days.
“ umm it says I am not drinking all of my water every day, but but daddy I am trying to…… I ..I get close every day. You can’t spank me for that!”
“What is the rule little one?” daddy said calmly. I have nothing to say.
Spank “do I have to repeat myself?”
“No daddy- ummm that I get 5 swats for each rule broken” I am talking so quietly now, holding my face in my hands, dreading what is next. I am laying there across his knee, feeling exposed and childish. His hand is resting/ rubbing my bottom over my panties.
“Ok so 20 times 5 is??????????” Daddy said, trying to be patient.
“NO YOU CAN’T THAT’S 100 SPANKINGS. NO DADDY PLEASE I HAVE HAD ENOUGH” I wonder why I am yelling this but I cant help it, I am really scared about what is about to happen, I feel my bottom and it is so hot already I cant endure more. I just know it.
“I cant hey, well here’s how it is going to go. We are breaking it up in 4 parts. First I am going spank this naughty bottom with my hand 40 times for the water. 8 spanks apiece for each glass of water you didn’t drink. So you will count the 8 at a time. Then I am going to do the same with the paddle. After that you will stand up and receive the next set with the strap. The same will be repeated for the bed time.
Daddy notices that I am not moving or arguing anymore. I am laying there and for the first time in a long time I am crying, I have resigned myself to the worst spanking of my life and given over myself to the man doing the spanking. My loving Daddy recognizes this and begins by slowly pulling down my panties.
“Oh daddy not that” I say very weakly knowing it wont matter but I still hope.
“Yes you are a very bad girl and because your Daddy loves you, you will have a very bad bare bottom spanking right now”
he begins very harshly and I am crying my eyes out, I had no idea a hand could cause so much pain but I try hard not to show that it hurts, I lay there and take my 40 hand spanks bravely ( or might be stubbornly) once again I am ordered to the corner.
Daddy walks in the room and has a sheet of paper in his hand… he says “alright young lady the first rule you will be punished for is the water. I feel that he has revved his arm back and is ready for this lesson. The paddle lands solidly on my right cheek and I let out a yelp. I decide to take this next part in silence and aside from the occasional yelp I am doing well. “38.,….39……40! Now stand up and get your face to that door.” As my hand reaches back Daddy warns “you touch that bottom and I will too.” I try not to cry and I try not to touch my bottom. I am feeling very sorry for myself now and I wish I had never asked for rules.

Now its time to deal with that bedtime curfew. Didn’t we discuss that this is for your health and your own good?” “Yes” I say quietly. “Well so is this, take 2 steps backward, place your hands on the door frame. Now bend over.” “Awww no please no”
“Are you disobeying your daddy?” I don’t answer I just bend over and hold onto the door frame. When I do I notice the strap in his hand. He places it on the bed and walks over to me; he reaches down and pulls down my panties. “Daddy I am to old to be bare, pleeeeeze don’t make me be bare I will go to bed I prommmmmis…..” I am trying to plead. Suddenly there is a loud crack and I feel the pain across my butt. Without the tiny cover and protection my panties gave the sting of the strap is intense.
“you will…..crack….go to bed…….crack…..when you are……crack…told! Crack crack.” You will….crack….. Be up…..crack… when …crack your daddy tells you to crack crack crack.” I can’t help but doing what is known as the spank dance and being still seems beyond my control.
Stand still and get bent over!” Crack crack crack.” Now tell me what you are going to do young lady” (sob) “I will go to be when I am supposed to and I will get up when I am told to….im sorrrryyyy.” “Good CRACK you better young lady because I will not tolerate insolence!”
Daddy stops and reaches for my panties, they are raised and he turns me to face him, he lifts my chin with his hand and looks into my eyes, he wipes the tears off my stained face and says “ you be my good little daddies girl now and all is forgiven, I have to do what’s best for you sweetie.” I am then held and rocked and feel safe and loved!

Accountability

Accountability----
I have really been thinking about this alot this week. I had suggested to Kirk that i was lacking motivation about the running of our household.

I asked him to help be break some bad habits and hold me accountable for any disharmony in our house. I have come up with a set of rules for myself, so he isnt the one telling me what to do here- i am.

i have gotten some great advice on how to handle it all, an decided a demerit system would work best with spankings if not followed through.
so i have been working on a chore chart and some consequences.
so it seemed to me to be all worked out but then i wonder if i should really be doing this, should i be working to be more of an equal partner to the man i am committed to? is all of this fair to my family. should i stand on my own two feet and tell him that i can and will self regulate my life? should we forget this whole accountability thing with rules and punishments and just have our spanking relationship as it started to be?

the thoughts i have are, can i do these things with out being reminded, checked up on and punished?
YES of course i can. I am a grown women, lived on my own for many years and survived without anyone helping me with them before. I am not a ditz woman or a freeloader. I am not a manipulator or entitled. I have paid my bills on time, managed a household (several if you include the fact i had to do it for my family since the age of about 6) and held myself accountable. I have been the personal secretary to my 2 sons for 16 years. raised my siblings and took care of my parents.sooo why do i want it now? good question.
maybe its because I AM TIRED!!!! ( not sleepy, just spent)i have been ultra responsible and ultra in dependant and strong.
maybe it is my MS and fibro that make me lose track of what i need to do, lord knows i cant remember a thing if it isnt written, i have notes to myself everywhere. maybe i feel safer knowing that it isnt all on me. maybe i am still in the pattern of being self destructive and clutter adds to my misery.

it isnt just house cleaning. for one I felt so loved when the rule came about for the seat belt wearing, i really mean it, it was incredible to be YELLED at because i didnt wear it. that someone loves me and worries about me being alive. then to be spanked because i forgot to wear it reinforced that i am lucky to be wanted. I think the worst spanking i ever received as an adult was for not taking my medications, for not taking care of myself. it was life altering.

i must say as a woman coming from an uncaring, self lead and unsupported childhood, this is the most loved i have ever felt. I guess the fact that the HOH cares so much about preserving harmony in the house, that he needs and wants us to be at peace is just as important.

I am great at getting myself into bad habits and terrible at breaking them. I guess accountability just speeds the process of self correction. i do want to be held accountable, it means that this man i have chosen to submit to wants the best for me.
these are ramblings and questions i must answer, i had hoped things would have become more clear as i wrote it all down. I still am not sure which way is right and which way is very selfish of me to ask him for.
I think i will go take a nap lol